This is the first of two installments about saved comments from January 2016. I was traveling during the first two weeks of the month, so I saved my comments on my laptop, then transferred them to my desktop. Good thing I did; apparently the video card on that has failed. On the one hand, it confirms my feelings of urgency about posting my saved comments here, as they were driven by anxieties of hardware failure. On the other, I was hoping the laptop would remain functional longer so that I could post the comments I saved on it. Sigh.
I'm going to keep my comment on "Link round-up for 3 January 2016" at Infidel 753 above the cut, as it has a wider appeal for my readers here on Dreamwidth than the comments behind the cut. That's because it's about all three trilogies of the Star Wars saga.The New Republic is right about the Star Wars saga being a multi-generational tale of a dysfunctional family. However, I wouldn't call it bad parenting, at least in the first two trilogies. I'd call it absentee parenting combined with bad foster parenting (except in the case of Leia; I think the Organas were actually good parents). Obi-Wan screwed up with Anakin and was supplanted by Palpatine, who was even worse. Lars tried, but he wasn't suited to deal with his nephew by marriage, who had the family curse of being destined for greatness.
It wasn't until the current movie that a combination of an unruly child with parenting not up to the task became apparent. Leia, Han, and Luke all tried with Kylo Ren, and all failed. Smoke (sp.?) took over the Palpatine role and ended up being the evil foster parent. Thank you, J.J. Abrams for making crystal clear what George Lucas only implied.
The good news is that the foster parents can redeem themselves. Obi-Wan, with Yoda's help, succeed with Luke where they failed with his father. Anakin himself finally did the right thing by his son, although it took Palpatine doing his best to kill Luke to do it. I wouldn't be surprised if Luke and Leia do the same for Kylo Ren and Rey by the final film of this trilogy. There is a formula to these films, after all.
( Comments from Kunstler's and Greers blogs plus the old Michigan Liberal about energy, the economy, and the election behind the cut. )
Last month, I posted here about the Teen Choice Awards nominees recognizing speculative fiction in movies and television. The awards were given out Sunday, so it's time to post about the winners. Here are the links to entries about the winners at Crazy Eddie's Motie News and the descriptions I used to promote them.
'Beauty and the Beast' the big winner at the Teen Choice Awards as speculative fiction dominates the movie categories
"Beauty and the Beast" won five awards, Choice Fantasy Film, Choice Fantasy Movie Actress for Emma Watson, Choice Movie Villain for Luke Evans, and Choice Movie Ship and Choice Liplock for Emma Watson and Dan Stevens. Emma Watson also won Choice Drama Movie Actress for her role in the thriller "The Circle."
'Riverdale' leads television shows with seven Teen Choice Awards
"Riverdale" was the most honored show last Sunday, earning seven surfboards: Choice Drama TV Show, Choice Drama TV Actor for Cole Sprouse, Choice Breakout TV Show, Choice Breakout TV Star for Lili Reinhart, Choice TV Ship for Sprouse and Reinhart, Choice Hissy Fit for Madelaine Petsch, and Choice Scene Stealer for Camila Mendes.
I don't know how it works for everyone, but here's the way it works for me:
+ If we look about the same age range, I'm not going to actually care if you're really twenty years older than me or more. If you're twenty-four years older than me but look like you're in your thirties, what the heck do I care? My dad's in his mid-fifties and he's in better shape than I am.*
+ If we don't look to be in the same age range even though we are, same rule basically applies. It's a little disturbing to see thirty-three year olds who look to be in their fifties, and I worry about your health. And I want people I can get in shape with as opposed to lose shape with.*
+ I prefer people to be older than me, with few exceptions, but I definitely prefer someone to at least be twenty-six.*
*All these rules assume meeting someone online as opposed to in person. Maybe you're gray and sixty-three and in poor shape but we had a connection in person. The oldest person I'd consider dating was way older than me and a co-worker. Likewise, Jordan's the youngest person I've crushed on. The key factor is they're people I feel secure around and they tend to have seniority over me. But you don't get crushes online. But if your true goal is to meet your one true love who just happens to be twenty or more years younger than you... You're probably fetishizing youth. I'm not interested in being actively sought by people who I don't know and also happen to look thirty years older than me. That type of chemistry would have to happen in person.
So instead of waiting for them to go through another manager or two in the Starbucks department, I'm asking to be made manager over there (because then I can bookkeep.)
... Okay then. I guess I'll go ahead and work on getting a new car. And if this happens, I will be kicking my dad and brother out of the apartment within the next three months.
Jordan came by today to buy his Stella Artois (yes, that's right! He's stopped sending co-workers!). Whenever I see him I feel like the rough equivalent of what a computer would probably feel (if it could) trying to run 800GB with only 400GB of hard-drive.
Like, let's break my brain down in all the directions it spins whenever Jordan comes around:
1. Anger, because he was King of Bailing.
2. Sad, because he's not intentionally King of Bailing, it's just a symptom of being a very insignificant friend. So there's sadness about unrequited sexual/romantic feelings but then also about unrequited regular 'ole platonic, friendly feelings.
3. SEXUAL FEELINGS.
4. REVULSION OF SEXUAL FEELINGS (I have a sexual dysfunction, so sexual feelings also come with revulsion. FUN. Like, to clarify: Even if Jordan tomorrow walked up to me and wanted to actually do anything sexual, I don't know what I'd do other than spontaneously combust from the intense simultaneous arousal/revulsion. I think I would literally die. I honestly think I would explode from the contradictory feelings. I've made enough progress that I have lost enough anxiety to try dating again. But there's still a lot of revulsion to work through.)
5. INTENSE HAPPINESS. Because Jordan is my favorite person to talk to and I feel very safe around him. Which is NOT supported by evidence, but again: Starbucks history.
6. INTENSE EMBARRASSMENT: See 1-5.
7. CUDDLE ENVY. (Which I literally feel about just about anyone I have any emotional attachment to at all right now, to be fair, but like, HOLY SHIT, I just want to curl next to someone and sleep like a cat so bad.)
8. Sadness about us never doing anything we ever planned and general irritation that he kept bailing on things but he still can come in and grab beer every week.
9. Loneliness. Because of said bailing and wishing I had people in general who were part of a tight-knit group where we did adventurous/outdoor stuff together. Jessica and my other friends are great, but they'll never SCUBA or sky-dive.
I literally felt sick a short while after interacting with him. This list isn't in any particular order, either. My point is my mind is in so many places.
Ugh. Well. He's moving back to England, anyway.
Changed my mind. Decided to focus on TEFL/PMP/CNA/Nursing Prerequisites. Chill on Khan Academy a lot this year, get my UK passport.
If I'm going abroad next year I won't need a car. If I'm not, I can get a car then.
As a bonus, if I'm making 17+/hour at both jobs, I'll have a lot of money to put down on a car next year.
If Linda asks me to take over the Starbucks department - technically a demotion from cashier, but I'd get paid more and finally be made full-time*, then I feel like I should take it** and go ahead and get the Outback.
Otherwise, stick with the Crosstrek.
* Cashiers get paid more in the long run, but it takes five years to max out. If I'm 'demoted' to GM manager, I get topped-out GM pay at $16-17/hour. So I'm considered higher-tier than a Starbucks manager right now, but I only make $11/hour.
** I'm not a full-time cashier. The plan was to train me for Sales Manager, at which point I'd be full-time. But if I were Starbucks Manager, I'd be made full-time, and given $16-17/hour. If I can still be moved back to cashier long-term, I would not lose my pay or full-time status.
Side Note: It would also be easier to do Safety Coaching, since I'd have my own email and my EUID would be given higher-level authorization. It would also be much easier to do some classes because I'd write my own schedule. Life would suck, but the payoff would have more potential.
This sounds so stupid, but I really just want a friend I could spoon with right now. Well, not right now. I mean when I'm trying to sleep during the day. I've started getting more physically affectionate with people (e.g. Head on shoulder) because the urge to cuddle is so bad.
I'm not sure it would work out as well as I imagine it in my head. Usually it's harder to sleep when spooning. I actually prefer to sleep alone. One problem I have with the idea of dating or getting married is the idea of having to share a bed. But there is this really overwhelming urge lately. I don't think it's sexual. I think it's just stress.
None of my friends are snugglers anymore than I normally I am, though. I can't even imagine how I'd phrase that text message: "Hey, wanna watch some Hulu while I sleep curled up with you like a cat? Or hey. Do you just want to hang out and take a nap?"
If I write that to someone asking if I want to hang out they're going to think I'm joking and the sad part is I only wish I were joking.
The only thing that has me on the fence about it are thoughts like, "What if I decide to move out of the country in the next few years?" But the reality is the chances of that are slim. Also, if I start dating, it's going to be nicer to have a car that can take me out on the types of dates I actually want to go on (outdoor/adventure activities.) If I decided to move and had a career that allowed me to, I could transport or sell the car. Subarus have great resell value.
Of course, people might question my mental stability since I want to get the Sunset Orange one. But that's neither here nor there. Plus, I feel like if I'm ever being sucked into a mudslide I'll appreciate that visibility.
I'm not actually sure whether I'd get approved for a car loan right now. My credit rating's good, but not excellent, plus I need to pay down some revolving debt. But I also heavily suspect I'll end up being made Starbucks manager, because they've already burned through two.
Having control over my schedule would be pretty powerful, even if literally everything else about it would suck. I want to do the ROP courses for Medical Assistant and Nursing Essentials. It's too late to change my availability for this round. But if I was making 17.75/hour at one job and 17/hour at the other, I'd be making more than enough to pay all my stuff down, save money, etc.
I'm trying to practice my Italian at work, but I'm too worried about waking up clients. I thought it would help with the medical language course, too, alas. I'd have to to to the tech room. I prefer being around where the clients are lest anything occur.
I did some writing this week. havent counted it yet, but there were words. i need to learn to manage my time more effectively now so i will be getting the seven habits of effective teens workbook as soon as i have some cash.
( Read more... )
I'm thinking getting a CRUNCH gym membership (where Wendy works out) so we can work out together. It's actually got a $10/month option. I'd keep my 24 hour membership, I think, but that's very tempting.
I'm also thinking about biting the bullet and getting a new car. If Ralphs promotes me to Starbucks Dept. Manager (Tyler is leaving and I'm honestly not sure how else they'd fill it since it's so hard to get those full) I'm definitely getting a new car to ease my pain.
Just looking at the nominees, I could tell that the Rabid Puppies had very little effect on the outcome. Both "Ghostbusters" and "Hidden Figures," which feature female casts, are exactly the kind of works the Puppies slates attempted to keep out of the voting in previous years. It turned out they were hardly trying.
'Arrival' and 'The Expanse' win Best Dramatic Presentation at the Hugo Awards
I thought "Arrival" would win Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form) in a walk. It did. Eric Heisserer can put the rocket for Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form) next to his Saturn Award for Best Film Screenplay and the Ray Bradbury Award for Outstanding Dramatic Presentation. On the other hand, I didn't make a prediction for Best Dramatic Presentation (Short Form), but was happy to find out that "The Expanse" won.
Mom called and I spoke with my grandparents, Siobhan, and Alastair. Since Father Dan has known me since I was born and has been a friend of the family since before I was born, we've decided we'll talk to him about getting my British and Irish passport. Guess in the meantime I'll work on PMP and nurse prerequisite coursework. That way in the future if I want to move over there, I don't have to be broke.
I showed the girls from Luna Grill the video as well (like I said, I love them - they're great people - I just never learn their names because they order in a big group.) So (predictably, to be honest) minutes after talking to them, Jordan texts me continuing on from the last conversation we had.
I don't like that. He can only be bothered to talk to me when he's at work. So, I didn't bother responding. I was busy talking to my family, anyway. Maybe I'll respond during a slow period at work, like on a break. I have to decide what boundaries there are for him and then set them. But maybe that's actually the ideal situation - a sort of pen-pal scenario.
Jessica wouldn't like the video, but tomorrow we're going to a watermelon festival. Mostly to find yellow watermelon.
I rang up a celebrity today but I had no idea til some other customers started asking to take selfies with her. Some character from The Office.
As a homeowner and inhabitant of the planet, Stephen is really hoping Earth continues to be.Doomer though I am, I'm with Colbert. I may repost this at Crazy Eddie's Motie News on Tuesday, after I post the worksheet for "Treasures of the Earth: Power" that I promised to post three weeks ago, the winners for Dramatic Presentation at the Hugo Awards, and the winners of the Teen Choice Awards.
( Four comments from Kunstler's blog, all mentioning the election. )
I'm struggling between being angry and snarky and sarcastic toward Jordan and wanting to just let it all go.
It's really hard because I just want people to stop trying to feed me bullshit. Not just Jordan. Jordan just hurts my feelings the most, because the bailing was so frequent. But it's also been an issue with Amanda and Jenny and Tori.
I set his number at 'Do Not Disturb' so that when he messages me I don't get notifications. It's a sort of compromise between blocking him and not blocking him - to just not know he's texted until I physically go and check my text messages anyway.
The main other thing I need to do is start setting up more meetings with Patrick, Nick, Wendy (I have a pretty good and active schedule with Jessica right now.) Hang out with the people who actually want to hang out.
I did delete a lot of people from my FaceBook. I'm really trying to peel it back to people I actually hang out with regularly, are family, or went to school with me. (People can follow me, if they want, because I've had people ask.)
It's just I wish people would be honest about not wanting to hang out instead of bailing. And Jordan is sort of the king at bailing. At least Amanda backs out of plans before they're made.
I brought my Italian book to study tonight.
For me that's not so important right now because I'm working the night shift, but I know it will be a thing.
We're going to a melon farm on Saturday. I'm really excited. I'm going to try this watermelon that's yellow on the inside!
Jordan and I are on speaking terms again and I'm not sure how to feel about that. Happy because we have entertaining conversations. Sad because there are unrequited feelings there. Sadder because I know I can't get involved with him emotionally again because of his proclivity for bailing. I have to remember that I'm not one of his important friendships. And from there I have to remember that hanging out with him is a Bad Idea.
Not that it's likely to be an issue. He bailed so much last year I have no intention of inviting him anywhere this year, and that same proclivity for bailing means he's not going to think of starting to invite me out.
Still, when he talked about wanting to move back to England but not wanting to lose his green card I told him he should marry one of his friends or have an anchor baby. I can keep it light, heh. But at least he probably won't be acting all weird about Ralphs anymore. And I guess the codependency stuff is right: If I had just ignored everything being awkward a bit longer, he'd have moved back to the UK and I'd have been none the wiser. I'm torn between hating the idea of him leaving and being really glad he'll be gone. But since he bails all the time, in reality it'll just be a lot better when he's gone. Him not being around won't be related to bailing anymore. He'll just not be physically around.
I can't wait, lol.
The Subaru is on my mind.